Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 21

< 2010 July 20

2010 July 21

2010 July 22 >

Back to main feedback page

Index of all pages

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indital[edit]

~~Jmlnarik01 (talk) 00:59, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please try and add suitable names to the external links section, like this:

==External links==
*[http://www.guardian.co.uk/article245|Guardian article]

Also I think the first paragraph of the article sounds like an advertisement for the company. Please try and rewrite it in a more neutral style. For more information on this, please see WP:TONE. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo 06:30, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Toiletbag/Pensioner_(band)[edit]

Are there enough reliable sources in my article for it to be considered notable?

~~Toiletbag (talk) 01:39, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As per the rules/guidelines for references at WP:CITE, Myspace cannot be used as a reference. However, the Myspace links can be moved to an 'External links' section. Also, the references could do with a more descriptive name, like this:

<ref>[http://www.chevymontecarlo.com/article/2398|Brief bio (blog post)]</ref>

Also I think you need to add an infobox, such as Template:Infobox Band or Template:Infobox Music Artist. Chevy monte carlo 06:15, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Griffey35jsb/Paul_Vitale[edit]

This is a biography of a motivational speaker and author I have seen many times at conferences, featured on television news spots and radio interviews, and profiled in several publications. Is there anything in the article that could cause deletion? Thank you.

~~Griffey35jsb (talk) 03:37, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't see anything that would cause deletion, myself. There seem to be plenty of independent references, so that's definitely in your favor. Piano tech 00:10, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, nice article. Try and add a few more links to other articles though. You can do it like this - [[Loughborough]], which will create a link to the Loughborough article. Chevy monte carlo 09:06, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_Magazine[edit]

WOuld appreciate feedback on this new article on Book Magazine.

~~JVKramer (talk) 04:33, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please try and add suitable names to the references, like this:

<ref>[http://www.guardian.co.uk/article/235|Guardian newspaper article]</ref>

Also try and do the same to the external link. Chevy monte carlo 09:09, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_Engineering[edit]

This new article is about an emerging discipline that is being formed for a relatively new IT computing model - Cloud Computing.

~~Tonyshan (talk) 05:19, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well done! I would consider adding categories to the bottom of the page so the article will show up in applicable categories. Just a suggestion. :) Piano tech 00:12, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

However, it's likely that someone else will add categories to the article for you instead. Excellent job with the references, by the way. I can see you've familiarised yourself with how they work. Chevy monte carlo - alt 07:06, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Asylum (Disturbed song)[edit]

Made this article because no one else did... figured the word should be spread. After all, it's a new single.

~~Thebannedaccount (talk) 06:43, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As per WP:CITE YouTube cannot be used as a reference, so I moved the references to the external links section instead. It's being considered for deletion as per the tag at the top of the article, but personally I think with more references it'd be a really great article, so please try and add some. For more information on references, please see WP:CITE. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo - alt 07:10, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How am I doing?[edit]

I would appreciate feedback on my Wikipedia activities, especially the more recent ones.

Am I using CSD correctly?
Are my judgment calls about notability, verifiability, etc., good?
How is my handling of problematic edits and the people who make them?
In my assessments, am I getting the distinction between stub and start class right?

I also welcome any other suggestions you might have. Thanks. ~~Peter Chastain (talk) 07:02, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think that what you're looking for is WP:ERV. -Reconsider ! 03:40, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Whoops, you are right. I will ask there. Thanks. Peter Chastain (talk) 04:08, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Renbukaiindia/Renbukai_Karate[edit]

This article is about a style of Karate named 'Renbukai Karate'

~~Renbukaiindia (talk) 07:34, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:UNEPGEN/Geneva_Environment_Network_(GEN)&direction=next&oldid=374506652[edit]

Hello all

My 1st Article, its on a small organisation called Geneva Environment Network. any advice is welcome.

Thank you

~~UNEPGEN (talk) 08:04, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please think about adding an infobox to the article. You can use a preset template such as Template:Infobox organisation or Template:Infobox company, or you can make your own infobox using the standard infobox template to get you started (that's more difficult though). There's no categories in the article but someone else is likely to add categories for you once you move the article in the main space. Also I think you need to try and add more links in the article, like this:

[[Apple]]

Which creates a link to the Apple article. Of course you can link to any article you want, as long as the article you want to link to is on Wikipedia somewhere. Hope this is helpful Chevy monte carlo 09:03, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Derby Gilbert & Sullivan Company[edit]

A non-professional (amateur) theatre company performing the works of Gilbert & Sullivan. One of the most decorated non-pro theatre companies in the World producing some of the most highly acclaimed, and often imitated, productions on a Worldwide stage. The company has competed against British, US, Canadian, Japanese, Belgian and Australian competition to win the International G&S Festival an unprecedented six times.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hardyhouse/Derby_Gilbert_%26_Sullivan_Company ~~Simon Hardy 08:05, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

I've made some minor improvements to the first part of the article, but please be careful with the language. Not that you're swearing or anything, but it sounds like an advertisement for the theatre company in places. Try and keep it purely informational rather than just sounding like a brochure. Also, I don't think a Google search page is a sufficient reference for the company being one of the UK's best known. Please try and find other references, such as maybe a review or survey if you can. Chevy monte carlo 08:55, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cool thanks. What happens next? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Hardyhouse/Derby_Gilbert_%26_Sullivan_Company

Now you need to revise the article according to the tips that I left you on the Talk page here. I worked on the intro paragraphs for you to give you an idea of how to do it. As for the "early years" stuff, if the information is on your website, you can cite to the appropriate website page, although, of course, newspaper reviews would be better. -- Ssilvers (talk) 14:26, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Raindeepak4u/Betta_enisae[edit]

Hi all this is my first article in Wikipedia. I have done a basic article about a fish species that i keeping. planning to fine tune the article based on you feedback. pictures will added soon in that article.

~~Raindeepak4u (talk) 10:49, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I drafted a wikipage about my organisation. I need help with improving the layout

~~Nomaqhawe Moyo (talk) 13:30, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, as to the fish article, I think it's great although if you can find other references as well it'd be great. I added inline citations for you, so they display correctly. The infobox is good, but think about adding more categories to the article if you can. I think it's pretty much ready to be moved to Betta enisae or somewhere like that. If you need help with this please send me a message. If you want another article reviewing in addition to the fish article, it's best to just make another request. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo 08:50, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scenario%28_Pedagogy%29[edit]

Hello, does this look suitable enough to be posted publically now? There are references at the bottom and a new info box magazine on the right. Thanks a bunch,

Allan

~~AllanTong (talk) 14:20, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is already in the main space, since it's not a page in your user space (otherwise it'd be something like User:AllanTong/Scenario (Pedagogy)). The references need correcting; it's great that you've added some but they need names and the inline citations need to be moved into the main part of the article, like this:

In 2009, Bob bought a Jaguar <ref>[http://www.bio.com/bob|Biography]</ref>.

Hope you understand, but if you don't please send me a message. Thanks. Chevy monte carlo - alt 07:03, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Gareth_kitson/Kayley_Rose[edit]

Hi - First attempt at writing an article, just a very basic one for now - hopefully used enough references and citations and external links - if this page is then approved, i can add to it and build it out.

~~Gareth kitson (talk) 15:51, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Consider adding an infobox such as Template:Infobox person and some web references. At the moment the references are the article's weak point, and will likely to just get deleted or tagged for being non-notable. Chevy monte carlo - alt 06:57, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_2030_Group[edit]

Hoping I did the format correctly. Please help me fix if not!

~~LivvyJean (talk) 19:41, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's formatted okay, but someone else has tagged it for deletion because it appears to just promote a product or service instead of being a neutral informational encylopedic article. Sorry. Chevy monte carlo - alt 06:56, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]