Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/NWA World Middleweight Championship/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was not promoted by Dabomb87 15:23, 3 April 2010 [1].

NWA World Middleweight Championship[edit]

NWA World Middleweight Championship (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Nominator(s):  MPJ -DK  09:42, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this list for Featured List because I feel it conforms to the FLC and generally has the review input from previous FLCs I've done worked into it. There are currently three redlinked articles: César Curiel, Gran Cochisse and La Fiera. Since the FLC process usually takes over 2 weeks I am confident that I will turn the links blue before the FLC process is over. The wrestlers who are not linked are wrestles where I have been unable to find much information on the except that they've won this particular championship so it's my judgement that they do not fullfill the Notability criteria and thus do not have to be linked.

As always I am open to any and all comments and will work to produce the best possible list.  MPJ -DK  09:42, 14 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • All three done before the first review :)  MPJ -DK  16:46, 19 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

Resolved comments from Harrias
* "CMLL retained three NWA labeled titles, the Middlweight championship, the NWA World Welterweight Championship and the NWA World Light Heavyweight Championship despite them no longer being officially recognized by the NWA and promotes both to this day." Both? As there are three of them, surely it should be 'all'? A slightly clunky sentence overall though, so might be better to completely reword.
  • Also, you missed an 'e' out of Middleweight in the sentence above.
  • "In early March, 2010 Blue Demon, Jr. and president of NWA Mexico, Macias Eduardo Garrido," there should be a 'the' before 'president'.
  • 'usinging' should just be 'using'.
  • "had said to ignore the CMLL's used of the belt NWA Mexico" should be 'use' not 'used' and should be a comma after belt.
  • "presented a new versions" no need for the 'a'.
  • "promoted by CMLL, previous attempts were ignored" instead of the comma, a colon might fit better.
  • "Averno is the current NWA World Middleweight champion having defeated" should be a comma after 'champion'.
  • "This is Averno's second NWA World Middleweight title reign as he was also the first Mexican to hold the title after it had been promoted in Japan for almost ten years." Very wordy sentence, could do with a complete rewrite.
  • "René Guajardo has the most reigns, having held the championship six times." Peculiar phrasing, possibly reword to something more like "René Guajardo has held the championship on six seperate occasions, the most by any wrestler."
  • "while the Great Sasuke's single regin is the longest individual reign" - Typo, regin should be reign.

To be honest, the points I've made above are the tip of the iceberg. I would recommend delisting the article from here, getting a peer review, and if possible, a copy edit done, and then bring it back. Harrias (talk) 10:59, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • All addressed. While I agree that parts of this could need another run through before I submitted it I think to withdraw and copyedit would be overkill, it's a slow process and I'll get someone to help with the copyediting in the next day or so.  MPJ -DK  17:17, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine, it was a recommendation, no more. I know how slow things can be here. I'll have another read through this evening and see if anything more jumps out at me, and then get onto the list itself. Harrias talk 17:23, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Every little thing helps so thank you for everything and I do appreciate the suggestion.  MPJ -DK  17:26, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I had another go at it with a bit of input from someone else, I did a bit of copyedit and tightened up the language a bit to make it better.  MPJ -DK  22:08, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "awarded the title to Gus Kallio, a five time" - five-time
  • "and the "King of the Middleweights"" - why are 'King' and 'Middleweights' capitalised? They aren't in the cited source?
  • I changed it to lower case, and the source does say it confirms Kallio as "king of the middleweights" from what I can read.  MPJ -DK  09:51, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • My fault, I meant to say that they weren't capitalised in the source, not that they weren't in the source! Harrias talk 10:03, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kallio's original World Middleweight Title" - is 'World Middleweight Title' the name of his, well, title? If not, it shouldn't be capitalised.
  • fixed
  • "changed their name to Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre to in order" - No need for the 'to' after Libre, and as you use CMLL later on, you should include it here in brackets.
  • I already put (CMLL) earlier in the text.
  • "that were all originated in CMLL." - should probably be "that all originated in CMLL" without the 'were'. Although did they originate in CMLL, or in EMLL? Also, can you provide a reference for this.
  • EMLL naturally since that's what it was called at the time (Fixed) and the "General source" listed at the bottom covers all title history up until 2000, including the origins of this and the other NWA titles.  MPJ -DK  09:51, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • In fact, you make a lot of claims in the second paragraph that are unsourced, can you provide references for the vast majority of it?
  • The general reference covers all of it, it would have to be cited like 80 times so I decided to make it a general reference with a clear explanation on what specific period it coveres.  MPJ -DK  09:51, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Okay, I read your explanation as meaning that the source covered who had won the title in those years. I'll have a look through it to confirm, but if it does indeed cover most of this paragraph, then it isn't an issue.Harrias talk 10:03, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Just noticed it is an offline source, so I'll accept what you say in good faith.Harrias talk 10:05, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I'll come back to this once you've worked on these, but possibly it may still be worth de-listing it, working on it and coming back. It has definitely got an FL in there, I'm just not sure how close it is! Harrias talk 09:18, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
It's there is too much work left I'll delist it.  MPJ -DK  09:51, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
With your general source covering that paragraph, the article will be much closer than I had indicated. Shouldn't be a problem. I'll check through it. Harrias talk 10:03, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
It looks pretty close for me now. Well done on all your work to resolve our comments; it would have been easy to get disheartened! Harrias talk 10:05, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I have to admit I had a sinking feeling for a while, thank you so much for all the extremely constructive input, it made the articles 10 times better.  MPJ -DK  10:16, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose – Too many prose glitches for me at the moment. A few of them are listed below, but I don't guarantee that I got them all. I agree with Harrias that a copy-editor is needed.

  • "The championship was called the 'World Middleweight Championship', created by Salvador Lutteroth". Seems to be missing "and" after the comma.
  • "The title was created at an unknown point before March 29, 1939 and awarded to Gus Kallio." The "awarded to Gus Kallio" part was already covered in a previous sentence.
  • "and changed their name to Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre to in order...". The promotion has both repeated links and repeated initials, neither of which are needed. Also, there's that misplaced word at the end.
  • Hyphen needed for "NWA labelled" and "NWA branded" at various times.
  • Remove comma before "that were all originated in CMLL."
  • "Dragon won the title from Corazon de Leon on November 8, 1994 after which he began promoting the belt in Japan;". Comma after the year. Also, the semi-colon here should just be a comma.
  • Hyphen for "CMLL based" in "the first CMLL based title match since 1994."
  • "In March, 2010...". Move comma to after year.
  • "and the president of sent letters...". Something's missing here.
  • "but was ignored by CMLL. CMLL...". Try to avoid the repetition of the promoter's name here.
  • Comma after "Averno is the current champion".
  • Change the semi-colon before "while the Great Sasuke's single reign..." to a comma.
  • Gus Kallio note: "due to the fact that he already held the World Middleweight Champion in the United States". "Champion" → "Championship". Also, there should probably be a period after this.
  • Anibal note: "Anibal defeated El Cobarde in decision match to win the title." Missing "a" before "decision match"; the other similar notes have one.
  • Reigns by combined length: De-capitalize Of Reigns and Days in the headings.
  • Shouldn't footnotes 3 through 7 begin with capital letters?
  • Reference 3: The em dash for the page range should be a smaller en dash. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 21:35, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'll do the various fixes later, I'm just not sure if it'd be worth still having this be a FLC if there are so many problems with the prose that I just seem to miss.  MPJ -DK  22:21, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've done all the fixes, I just want people's honest opinion - how much work does it need? If it needs quite a bit of work I'll withdraw it for copyediting.  MPJ -DK  19:08, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not one to usually doubt myself but right now I get the impression that i presented a bowl of alphabet soup for an article, which is a first for me. I apologize.  MPJ -DK  19:12, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • It's much better than it was; although it sounds slightly stilted now. I will read through it again properly at some stage, but my dinner is ready now! Harrias talk 19:31, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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